We all get disappointed by people sometimes and sometimes we get disappointed by people who meant to us a lot and this hurts the most. Some mistakes can be forgiven and some not, but the decision whether you forgive or not depends on you.
I am someone, who cannot forgive easily, it is very very hard for me to forgive someone, when the person misused my trust and betrayed me or has done me wrong. I have been thinking about forgiveness for a few years now and I want to talk about in this blog post, how hard it is for me, to forgive someone, who was so close to me.
The more important the person is to me, the more it hurts and the harder it is for me to forgive that person – and I am not talking about little mistakes, I am talking about things they do and make you feel like you don’t mean as much as they mean to you, like you are replaceable and they don’t need you at all and they can let you go so easily. I don’t wanna go into details about what happened, because there a lot things I am still mad about, even if it has been a few years ago. I just want to tell you guys, how I went through the process of forgiving, maybe there are some of you who feel the same way like me.
I can forgive on the ‘outside’, but I don’t really mean it because inside I am still angry at the person and I just say it because it eases my anger a little and I don’t feel like I have to explode and punch the person in his or her face when I see them. But saying I forgive someone is the first step for me to ease my anger, even if I don’t really mean it from the bottom of my heart. This just means to me, that I accept what happened, but I still don’t know how to handle it.
After forgiving someone it is still hard for me for a long time, not to get angry or disappointed again when that person reminds me of his/her mistake. But I am trying not to waste to much time on that thought, because overthinking leads you to a negative mind most of the times.
It says, time heals wounds and I think it’s true, after 5 years I can finally think about the mistake my friend made and I am not mad at him/her at all.
It is a lesson for me and we are friends again, but it definitely broke something special between us and I will never trust her like that again, because I can forgive but I cannot forget.
I think you shouldn’t forget the things someone has done to you because you don’t know if it can happen again. There is a difference between forgiving and forgetting, as long as you can forgive, you don’t necessarily have to forget, but if you can’t forgive, than it’s better to forget, so it doesn’t hurt.
I hope this post wasn’t too long, I tried to narrow it down somehow and I hope you can understand a little bit how I went through forgiving someone. My monthly thoughts are very important to me because I am sharing very private thoughts with you guys and I would like people to understand each other. If you are not the same type of person as me, it’s okay, maybe you know someone who is like me a little bit and by sharing my story you maybe understand your friend, family member or someone else.
Tell me in the comments below how you succeed in forgiving I would be very interested !