My first serious relationship has been a few years and I am in a happy other relationship now. But the time between my first and my current relationship was probably one of the best times I have ever had! Of course I have been single before my first boyfriend, but I don’t really count it as being single, because you are used to be not in a relationship. After a break up, you know how it feels to be single and how to be in a relationship, because you experienced the ”other side of life” ( I just call it like that now ).
When I was with my first boyfriend, of course I thought we would get married and would spend the rest of our lives together and so on, it’s a girls’ dream ( or at least my dream ). But that wasn’t the case so we broke up. I thought I would never recover from my first relationship, I know that’s so dramatic, but I did. When I was in that relationship I was very clingy and I totally gave up on myself, I literally lived for him and let him dictate my life. But I also have to admit that I was very very insecure in that relationship and I was afraid I would never find someone again, who will love me.
We met for a reason, either you’re a blessing or a lesson
When we finally broke up for real, the first few months I was sad but I was more afraid that I will end up alone with no-one loving me. During that time I moved back to my hometown, because I lived in another city during my first studies, into a flat share. I spent a lot of time alone and with myself and I caught up everything I missed during my first relationship: Stay connected to my friends, going out, travel, meet new people and so on. Time after time I focused more on myself, which I totally forgot in the relationship and I started to enjoy being alone and I learned HOW to be alone. I also started to believe in myself again because that also went missing – my self-confidence. I focused on myself again, I traveled alone, I met new people who became friends, I enjoyed the things I love – going out and dance, taking walks, reading books.
That’s what my first break up taught me: You can be alone and enjoy it, you just have to learn how to spend your time and love yourself. I also learnt that I don’t have to give up on myself and my goals just to be with someone. I don’t need to force myself to be someone else I’m not, if your partner accepts you how you are and support your goals, that’s perfect.
What did your first break up taught you?